Of course everybody, their uncle and cousins, who know how to read, already know about this event that took place, so the purpose of this blog is not to report the news, but simply to give my take on these events and give you my two cents worth on what I like to call the IGNORANT, DUMBASS, REDNECK, SEC COLLEGE FANS, WHO NOT ONLY DID NOT ATTEND THEIR UNIVERSITY TO WHICH THEY ESPOUSE ALLEGIENCE, BUT MORE THAN LIKELY DO NOT EVEN HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION, SYNDROME!
I first learned of the tree poisoning event from my good, good friend Nancy B., who lives near Dothan and sent me by e-mail the hyperlink to the Dothan Eagle (a/k/a the Dothan Buzzard by my wife’s Papa Sam, may he rest in peace, who was from Dothan) which broke the story a couple of days before it hit the nationals. My response to her e-mail was that I would bet dollars to donuts that it was some redneck Crimson Tide fan, that didn’t even go to Alabama. Sure enough, a couple of days later after the arrest, it turns out that I was right. The jackass (assuming he is the culprit, because as we all know that in America, you are innocent until proven guilty) attended some junior college in South Alabama that no one has ever heard of) and was a diehard Crimson Tide fan. He allegedly killed Auburn’s trees because the students, according to him, rolled the trees to celebrate Bear Bryant’s death all those years ago. Funny how he didn’t decide to do anything about it until Auburn beat Alabama and won the National Championship. So, of course it was all sour grapes of an illiterate ‘Bama fan who decided to take the Auburn glory out on a couple of historic 130 year old live oaks.
Mr. Genius called into the Paul Finebaum radio show from Birmingham; stated his name was “Al” from Dadeville, Alabama; and stated in detail exactly what he did in poisoning the trees and with what tree poison. If nothing else, voice recognition will nail this Dude, which is probably what they used in the process of the arrest.
Now, I will have to admit having gone to law school in Birmingham for three years (subsequent to graduating from UGA), that my take on Alabama fans in general is that these people are all ‘nuts’! It’s fine to be a super fan of your team, and admittedly in the SEC, in general, we all consider football to be a religion not a sport. But in this vein, if SEC football is a religion, then Alabama football is equivalent to the ‘Snake Handlers.’ It goes way beyond reason. However, that being said, all Alabama fans are not like this idiot that poisoned the trees. The folks, who actually went to Alabama for an education and love Alabama football, would not even think of doing anything as stupid and heinous as what this baboon did.
Truthfully though, Alabama and Auburn are not the only Universities in which we see this type of thing. Fact is we have our share of Georgia fans, which are toothless, have red rings around the neck, and actually think that Georgia is spelled “JAW JAW.” Years ago at a Georgia – Alabama game in Athens, after the Tide scored a last minute touchdown to steal the win from the Dawgs, a drunk S.O.B. started slinging F bomb epithets at my wife, who was rooting for the tide (Yes, I have a wife who went to Alabama. You are allowed to give me your condolences). Trust me, he never even thought of graduating high school, much less take an S.A.T. to get in anywhere.
Several years ago, we were in Baton Rouge for an LSU-Georgia game. The Dawgs flat out got their ass kicked. Even so, after the game was over, while we were walking to the car, an LSU fan started cursing us and threw an empty beer bottle at me. I could be wrong, but I never thought one time that he was either a student or alumnus of LSU.
Unfortunately, there is no way to filter out these pathetic idiots from proclaiming their attachment to our beloved Universities, for which we actually attended and got an education. You cannot pass a law that says “You cannot wear red and black with a big G on it, unless you went to Georgia.” Of course, you wouldn’t want to do that even if you could, because that knocks out the intelligent folks, who for whatever reason did not attend UGA, but are still loyal fans who would not even think about committing anything as asinine as what this guy did.
So, what it all boils down to is that football is no different than life. You have to take the bad with the good and pray to the lord to protect us from the idiots!
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