UGA Agent Will Muschamp Ready for Deployment to Next Assignment: Auburn

Will Muschamp fulfilled his duties with glorious success while deployed as a special agent of the Georgia athletic department in Gainesville, Fl., and he’s now ready to take on his next assignment.

I can hear the phone call now…

(A phone rings…whereabouts unknown)

Muschamp: “Joe’s morgue…you stab ’em, we slab em”

Caller: “The sun is shining…”

Muschamp: “But the Gators are slippery”

Caller: “Well done, agent Muschamp. Your infiltration of the Swamp was a success. We now need you in another capacity. Your briefing will be sent to you via Padawan messenger”

Muschamp: “Ok, that’s twice…will someone tell me what the hell a Padawan is?”

Caller: “Not important now, agent Muschamp. What is important is your next assignment. We need your duplicitous snarl on the plains, working to take out double-agent Marshall. He’s become too big a liability.”

Muschamp: “Understood. Been wanting to burn that traitor for years now”

And so it would begin. Georgia special agent Will Muschamp would be deployed to the plains of Auburn, Alabama to begin gaining confidence of the Tigers and their fastidious monarch, Commander Gus Malzahn.

Right now nothing is official, but that’s exactly how the Bulldogs want it to appear. Make the believe he’s shopping for other jobs, and that Auburn isn’t a shoe-in for his defensive genius. Keep ’em guessing. Auburn has said they’ll match any school’s offer to Muschamp, which gives him the chips with which to play.

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What incredible planning of General McGarity and his reconnaissance agents to spot exactly the perfect placement for Georgia’s top special agent once his cover in Gator country had been blown, (Yes, Muschamp tried to keep appearances up by inexplicably beating the Bulldogs this year, but he had already been made.)

Working the sidelines at Auburn and becoming a drop of machine oil in the drinking water, Muschamp can see to it that the fate of the next few renewals of the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry are firmly sitting in Georgia’s favor.

We’ll all look forward to the day when agent Muschamp is able to return home, without the threat of any SEC-axis-of-evil (Florida-Auburn-South Carolina) standing in the way of Georgia’s ultimate destiny.

We salute you, agent Muschamp! May the football gods look well over your mission.

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