NCAA Rules Herschel Walker Can Return for Final Year of Eligibility
In a huge surprise announcement to come, former UGA standout Herschel Walker will be granted his final year of eligibility by the NCAA.
Hunker down, you hairy dawgs! Ol’ Herschel is returning to the scene of his greatest triumphs to help bring Georgia back to glory, glory once again.
Unconfirmed sources have reported to Dawn of the Dawg that the NCAA has found an issue with Walker’s declaration for professional status as it relates to his playing for the New Jersey Generals in the now defunct USFL after leaving Georgia in 1982.
The information was leaked, as fate would have it, by Shoshanna Engel, associate director of athletics at the Georgia Institute of Technology and a member of the Division I Legislative Review and Interpretations Committee.
According to our source, Engel said, “It would appear that Mr. Walker’s paperwork to turn professional in 1982 related specifically to entering the NFL draft, which he never did. Although he was paid to play football, the USFL was not part of the NCAA’s jurisdiction at that time. This is going to be a huge thorn in the side for Georgia Tech this year when they find out Herschel is back.”
The 1982 Heisman Trophy winner has been seen hanging out with Georgia football players recently and even showered praises upon now-future teammate, Nick Chubb.
“When I played, they didn’t have guys 6-5, 300 pounds that can run a (4.5-second 40-yard dash),” Walker said, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “You’ve got a bunch of them out there that can do that now. So he’s playing in a totally different era. He can make his own way right now. The guy is an incredible, incredible football player.”
""[Gator] tastes like jorts and shame, but I need the protein""
- Herschel Walker
Walker has stayed in top shape, and was still competitive in MMA until 2011, going undefeated and showing he was still as much of a physical beast as he was in 1980. Word is that Walker has been lifting 1930 Ford Model A Sport coupes and eating strict diet of roasted roosters and gator tails in preparation for the upcoming announcement.
When asked how gator tasted, he apparently replied “Tastes like jorts and shame, but I need the protein.”
Former Tennessee defensive back Bill Bates could not be reached for comment on Walker’s reinstatement. Rumor has it he’s still partially buried in the turf at Neyland Stadium.
Perhaps the best part of Walker’s return to run between the hedges is that you have just been royally duped and you may now proceed with a giant facepalm of embarrassment!!
Happy April Fools' Day from the entire Dawn of the Dawg staff!