DARN TOOTIN’ HE’S CHEATIN’ CAM NEWTON

 Well, surprise, surprise, surprise, as Gomer Pyle used to say!  Where flies are a swarmin’ there is usually somethin’ rottin’ below, that smells to high heaven.  Dig a little deeper and you come up with maggots and worms!  Rather descriptive am I not?

 Now it appears from official reports that not only is Auburn’s Cam Newton being investigated for recruiting mischief (attempting to sell his signature to the highest bidding college), it now appears from reports coming from the University of Florida (those nasty, nasty, slimy, lizards) that Mr. Cam not only was arrested in 2008 for stealing a laptop computer from a student’s room, but he was about to be kicked out of that adorable little college for academic fraud.  It appears that he put his name on a class assignment prepared by another student, and when caught he submitted another one to the Professor, which he bought off of the Internet, and was caught again. (A real intelligent move, don’t you think?)  Rather than face the upcoming punishment from the Student Counsel, he transferred to Blinn Junior College.  Additionally, it turns out that his excuse for the transfer, that being Tim Tebow’s decision to return his senior year, placing Newton in back up status, was pure “bull honky.”   From the reports, Cam was not even registered for the Spring Semester of 2009, when Tebow made his decision. (source: B/R Bleacher Report Newsletters and YardBarker)

 We can now be officially proud of our BullDawgs, because they only get arrested for “booze” related misdemeanors.  I mean, come on, Georgia was ranked this year as the number one “party” school in the nation, what do you expect?  At least our guys are honest drunks.  They do not steal laptops; they do not cheat on their tests (at least they are smart enough to not get caught); and they didn’t try to sell themselves to the highest paying college, so daddy could rebuild his dilapidated church! (All assuming there is some fire from which the smoke cometh.)

 So, what is the moral to this story?  What poetry shall unravel from our search for the truth, other than “if you lie down with dogs, you come up with fleas?” (sorry, I couldn’t resist) – – – – – – – – – – –

 ‘Auburn University, ‘The Greatest Football College in, well, Auburn, Alabama’, presents: The Adventures of SuperCam. Faster than a speeding safety! More powerful than a defensive lineman! Able to leap corners in a single bound! (“Look! Up in the sky!” “It’s a WarEagle!” “It’s a Plainsman!” “It’s a Tiger!”[These damn people can’t decide what in the hell they are]   “It’s SuperCam!”)… Yes, it’s SuperCam … strange visitor from a junior college, previously of the University of Florida, from which he was forced to leave while the gettin’ was good, who came to Auburn with powers and abilities far beyond those of men not on steroids! SuperCam … who can change the course of the SEC West, bend college academic rules and steal laptops with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Cameron Newton, mild-mannered student athlete who allegedly loves children and Big Brother Clubs, fights a never-ending battle for the public to believe that he represents truth, justice, and the American way (and that “He has done nothing wrong!”) And now, another exciting episode, in The Adventures of SuperCam! (source: Wikpedia – intro to television “Superman” series 1952-1958)

Remember, Friday, 11/12 (1+1+1+2=5) is the day of the announcement, and you read it here first!  Saturday, no Cam, Dawgs take year 5!  It’s sorry, you say, that a team can only win a game, when the other team’s star player is out of commission.  Yeah, So What’s Your Point????????? Woof! Woof! Woof!

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By: Dawgman1973 (Gary K.) Lead-Blogger “Dawn of the Dawg”