Georgia-Florida 2015: Bulldogs have nothing on these real-life underdogs

Today we examine three completely serious real-life upsets more improbable than the Bulldogs beating the Gators in the Georgia-Florida 2015 game…let the healing begin! 

Wow, a lot can change in a year.

Your Georgia bulldogs enter this matchup unimpressive, unmotivated, and unranked facing a well-coached Florida team brimming with confidence that continues to over-preform and will almost for sure have some human at quarterback. Yes my friends things look grim, even many of us here at Dawn of the Dawg think it would be foolish to predict anything other than a painful loss that will turn the volume on the hot-seat talk up to eleven.

But that isn’t to say we don’t have a shot. There’s always a shot! The dream of the 90’s taught us that. No, every time I start feeling blue and want to predict a 24-0 loss to the dreaded Gators I hop on the internet in search of feel-good underdogs stories, just like our own, where teams have risen to the occasion and defeated seemingly insurmountable odds on the way to achieving their unlikely goals and dreams.

It is with this in mind I present to you three 100% true real-life stories of underdogs who have persevered through the loftiest of adversities and emerged champions!

  1. July 3rd, 1995: Diverse group of fat kids rally to defeat future frat stars in Apache Relay.

-Yes, where were you when Camp Hope achieved the impossible and defeated Camp MVP in the crucial Apache Relay only days after releasing their owner/coach Tony Perkis? Until that fateful day (and never since) Camp MVP had strung together an Undertaker at Wrestlemania-esq winning streak having never yielded a victory to Camp Hope. Both Camp MVP and Georgia fans alike site the controversial decision to wear the Greek-themed white-out uniforms to a clearly Native American inspired event as a possible reason for their untimely downfall. They were a distraction PAWWWWLLL!

  1. October 4th, 1996: The Miracle on Ice.

-Man, has it really been this many years since the greatest inter-school scrimmage of all time? That’s right, striking a blow for the little guys everywhere the junior varsity squad from Eden Hall Academy defeated the reigning state champions, the varsity squad from…Eden Hall Academy. Weird, right? A clear lack of institutional control prefaces this matchup where the athletic board of Eden Hall allowed some twenty junior varsity players to wager their high school scholarships against the varsity team’s beloved Warrior’s mascot in a winner take all game. The ducks two-way play kept the game scoreless entering the third when noted enforcer Dean Portman, who had played pee-wee with the junior varsity team under the moniker of “The Ducks” (keep up), showed up at second intermission with a Eden Hall official scholarship he found (what?) and proceeded to lay waste to the opposition with his mighty forecheck. Former starting goaltender and Jewish sports icon Greg Goldberg buried a shot from the slot off the stick of Charlie Conway for a 1-0 junior varsity win. I am sure the alumni and boosters of the winningest hockey program in Minnesota were thrilled to see their beloved Warrior mascot unilaterally changed to a duck after decades of tradition by a group of 13 year olds, but such is life, bro.

So, next time you are complaining to your friends that Faton Bauta isn’t getting the chance he so clearly deserves, remember that all he has to do is wager his scholarship against defeating Greyson Lambert in open competition and he could not only be our starter, but also get to decide Georgia’s new mascot as a fun completely reasonable bonus!

  1. May 23rd, 1998: Golden Retriever Leads Timberwolves to State Football Championship.

“I tell you one thing boys, that ain’t no golden retriever…that there’s a golden receiver.”                           –Coach Fanelli

Underwhelmed at the Georgia receiving corps these days? Think the task of facing a uber-talented Florida secondary lead by Vernon Hargreaves III is too much for them? Well, read a book, idiot. In 1998 the Fernfield Timberwolves trotted out a golden retriever, Bud, with ZERO football experience (in fact his only notable athletic feats at the time were becoming the greatest three point shooter in the history of Washington state athletics the year before) to be their number one target at wide receiver. Even with a pair of creepy Russian twins trying to kidnap our hero in a misguided attempt to feature him in their weird Russian teen-circus, Bud lead the Timberwolves to the league championship game while setting Washington state high school records in catches, TD’s, total yards, yards per carry, and yards after contact. If this canine can win the 1-on-1’s surely Terry Godwin can.

See, don’t you feel better already?! If a bunch of fat kids, a meddlesome junior varsity hockey team, and a freaking golden retriever can defeat seemingly impossible odds, isn’t it possible we just might come out of this thing with a win?!

That’s right. Taste the sweet air of confidence. It’s the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party this Saturday my friends, and if the real world has taught me anything, underdawgs always come out on top!