Georgia Bulldog Mixology: Kentucky Punch And Power Ranking Pruitt Rumors
By Josh Johns
This week on Georgia Bulldog Mixology we power rank those pesky Pruitt rumors and drown our sorrows in a big bowl of Kentucky punch!
Well, that certainly got out of hand quickly, didn’t it?
If you are like me, and live on Twitter while vacationing in the endless pit of despair and darkness that are the paid-UGA message boards, you had yourself a rollercoaster of a Thursday. Pruitt is fired. Wait, no he isn’t. Pruitt has cleaned out his office. Pruitt is in his office writing an detailed missing persons report for Lorenzo Carter. Pruitt’s hot. Pruitt’s cold. Pruitt’s yes. Pruitt’s no. Pruitt’s in. Pruitt’s out. Pruitt’s up. Pruitt’s down. Pruitt’s Wrong. Pruitt’s right. Pruitt’s…
You get the idea.
Now the end result is that Coach Mark Richt was kind enough to tweet and let us know that our defensive coordinator is safe and sound in his natural habitat, writing a diligent game plan for the Kentucky game.
Seems legit. But frankly, that shouldn’t stop us from guessing just what went down to cause all of this commotion. It is with this in mind that before we get down to cocktail business this week I present to you my official power rankings of the rumors of Coach Pruitt’s demise at UGA!
- Someone got the Schott kicked out of them.
**How cool would this be? Our much maligned offensive coordinator and NFL
standout coordinator
Jet fan
pre-Gurley-Rams guy went toe-to-toe with Pruitt and lost at a coach’s meeting following the Florida game. What would you give to see this go down? Would you take a loss to Georgia Southern to see Schottenheimer and Pruitt go one-on-one? I would. Just too delicious to pass up, and, like Pacquiao v. Mayweather, it just seems inevitable. I have to rank this rumor, despite its lack of plausibility, #1 among the Pruitt rumors for the soul reason that it represents the psyche of the Georgia fanbase so well. We so badly want to believe that Pruitt is the guy on the staff that would do ANYTHING to win, fight through a million Schottenheimers, if it meant scoring one more touchdown against Kentucky, and, adversely, that Schottenheimer is a milquetoast coordinator on-and-off the field and someone who can be easily bullied into submission. The truth is neither of those things, but I cannot imagine a fantasy matchup that Bulldogs fans so want to believe is as real as this one.
2. Pruitt is the only one who cares about the Dawgs PAWWLL, so Richt made him the scapegoat to McGarity!
**This is another great one, and if it wasn’t for the sheer awesomeness of the first rumor, this would be on top. The idea among Georgia fans that Richt and company simply don’t want to win, and Pruitt has found himself in this bizzaro-world is always a fun hot take from the Georgia fan base. I will pay any of you $30 to tell Tracy Rocker that he doesn’t like winning. No, seriously, he seems like an approachable dude, give it a shot. Nah bro? Thats what I thought. I do, however, love the idea that the coaching staff get together and decide how to best LOSE a game, and Pruitt is this eager kid in the back of the classroom like “But Mark! Mark! What if we DON’T fake the punt!? My boys can win this one, I tell ya!” and Mark Richt just loses it on him for insubordination. Classic Richt stuff there.
3. Pruitt just may not fit in with this program, and thusly will be among the expected “changes” at seasons end.
**This rumor comes in last and bums me out because I believe it may be closest to the truth. Since he has arrived, Coach Pruitt has worked hard to change the culture of the University of Georgia. Frankly that, and his on field production, are what have made him probably the most popular coach on this staff. But, from where I sit, it has been about that. Change. Constantly forming the program from facilities to recruits to what he thinks this program should look like. There’s only one problem though: that’s just not his job. That’s Mark Richt’s job. For the record, I don’t think Pruitt is wrong, but I do think his fiery personality, temper, and alpha-male personality have ruffled some feathers in Athens. I could be totally off here, but it does seem for better or worse, no matter if Mark Richt stays or if he goes, Pruitt’s time in Athens as a productive member of the coaching staff may be drawing to a close.
And with that, let’s drink!
This week your faithful bartender supreme Joey Vargas served up a unique and original punch recipe. Be careful with this one at your tailgate or gameday party this weekend folks, it’s boozy. What better way to drown our sorrows than making a drink in a bowl so large you could literally drown in!? Right? Right. Recipe below!
-Ingredients-
8 oz. Mellow Corn Kentucky Straight Corn Whiskey
6 oz. Peach Tea
3 oz. Lemon Juice
2 oz. Appleton V/X Rum
2 oz. Graham’s Ruby Port
2 oz. Simple Syrup
-Instructions-
Combine all over ice and enjoy. Serves 4-6.
Share your misery with others, my friends. It will love company! That’s it for us this week everyone. Try to enjoy the game, and GO DAWGS!