NCAA football rules proposal: outlaw ties

When NCAA football ties are outlawed, only outlaws will tie.

Ending  regulation in an NCAA football game with a tie score makes no one particularly happy. The players must extend themselves for who knows how many more minutes of overtime, the coaches must jiggle and juggle lineups due to injury and then prepare for the next game with a battered team, and sports writers miss deadlines.

Even the fans are like, “What? There’s more?”

That’s why they call it “forcing overtime”, not “enjoying overtime,” and it’s time to pass the “No ties” rule.

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Ties are for losers

It’s not that hard. Pass a rule declaring, “No NCAA football ties.” If regulation ends in a tie, both teams receive a loss. No asterisk, no nothing.

“Georgia lost to Alabama 24 to 24 last Saturday. Reporters challenged Kirby Smarts decision to blitz on third down and short. “We saw what they had done in first half.” Smart said.

Reporters were also critical of Nick Saban’s decision to punt with the score tied and three minutes to play. “We thought it was our best chance to win,” Saban said.

No more sister kissing

If ties are less like kissing your sister and more like kissing a bear, both teams become desperate to win because a tie puts a big fat L in the loss column. That’s going to be an L that’s very difficult to explain to Mr. Big Money Donor, one giving new life to the Dawgvent trope, “We’re not trying to win!”.

Besides, with college football offenses routinely scoring over thirty points a game, what are the chances one of the teams will not score the go ahead points? One team will either seize victory, or, acting in desperation, leap to defeat.

But wait? What about the CFP semi-finals?

But twice a season a winner is mandated, right?

Actually, that is not right. A loser is mandated – one team must be eliminated.  If both teams lose, both are eliminated and the winner of the opposite semi-final becomes the NCAA football National Champion. The surviving team simply shows up for the kick off and wins in a walk over 1 – 0 and the celebration begins. Someone would lose some money, but who cares? It’s an easy trade for the potential drama of two simultaneous 34 – 34 losses and the sudden dramatic elevation of the opposite semifinal into the de facto championship game.

And if both semi-finals result in two simultaneous losses? Then you can add your asterisk as no national champion is crowned.

Yes, I’m serious, and don’t call me Shirley.