UGA Football: What is that noise coming from upstairs?

Tennessee is blazing the recruiting trail but is it enough to unseat UGSA football at the top of the SEC East.

I woke up this morning, made coffee, and poured myself a cup. I then turned on the television for some background noise as I researched my next UGA football article on my laptop.

Just as I booted up my computer and began to write, I heard, “They’re here! They’re here!” screamed through the ceiling, which made me very curious. Who was here? I had to find out.

So, I grabbed my hobnail boots, slid them on, flung the door open, and headed upstairs. I ran up the 41 steps with zero hesitation. As I got to the top of them, I listened to where the noise was coming from, and it turned out that it was coming from the third apartment on the right.

When I got to their door, I noticed it was apartment 4314, and the door was a god awful orange. I knocked on the door, and a very excited man wearing an orange (barf) shirt with “Volunteers” written on it answered.

“Can I help you,” he asked politely, grinning ear to ear.

“Good morning, sir,” I replied, “I just wanted to know what all the commotion up here was about.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that, you see, my dog just had 21 puppies, her best litter ever too”, he exclaimed.

“Do you mind if I come in and take a look,” I asked.

As he let me in, I saw three more gentlemen wearing orange shirts, and one seemed to have a bandage on his pinky finger. As he looked at me, he snarled something about a folding chair under his breath. His two boys were next to him, and I think one of them was called Benedict or something like that.

I asked the youngest son why their t-shirts said “Volunteers” on them. He told me they were a football team. My first thought after looking around the room at this ragtag “volunteer” football team was that they would struggle to beat a Sun Belt Conference team, let alone a team in the SEC.

As I moved passed these men, I entered a room where a dog and her puppies were lying. The gentleman that answered the door was very excited to show me the new puppies. He started picking some of them up and showing them off to me.

First, he picked out two that looked like perfect hunting dogs. Next came seven pups that looked like they would make great family pets, but I noticed there were 13 more he wasn’t quite as excited about showing off. Some were missing their tails, some were missing limbs, and others looked like they could hardly walk.

So, as I took this all in, I looked at him confused and asked him why he believes this is the best litter of the entire year. I showed him the calendar on my phone and reminded him that it is only May, and there are a lot of litters yet to be had by other dogs.

Then I told him that my dawg was also pregnant and expecting, but she wouldn’t be having her puppies until December or February. I also told him that my dog had had award-winning puppies the last three straight years, and litters like the one his dog had were barely a top-ten litter.

Next: 10 greatest quarterbacks in UGA football history

With that, I left and headed back to my apartment. I turned on the television again and tried to start working on my article. Shortly after I finished my first paragraph, I heard Danny Kanell say, “Florida is the team to beat this year in the SEC East.” I shook my head, rolled my eyes, and thought, “here we go again.” Has everyone forgotten about UGA football?

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