UGA Football: What is going on down on the Plains?

The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry will be played for the 125th time this season. UGA Football has only lost two of the last ten meetings.

I went to the zoo with a friend of mine the other day. I’m a UGA football fan, and he’s an Auburn fan.

When I met up with him at the gate, I saw that he was wearing an orange shirt with “Plainsman” written in blue on it. I was confused, so I asked him about it. He explained that the Auburn Plainsman is the student-run newspaper for Auburn University. He takes a quick selfie at the gate and shares it on social media with the hashtag “#GoPlainsmen.” I didn’t say any more about it, and we entered the zoo.

The first place he wanted to go was the tiger habitat, naturally. I obliged because tigers just happen to be my favorite animal, Siberian Tigers, to be exact. Zoo Atlanta only has Bengals, which is disappointing, but they are still tigers. So we get to the tigers, and he immediately took a picture of them with his phone and shared the image on social media with the hashtag “#GoTigers.”

We then leave the tiger habitat, and I ask him where he wants to go next. Can you guess? Of course, it is the bird exhibit. Birds are flying all about, and my friend gets very excited. He has spotted an eagle, and he can’t get his phone out fast enough to take another picture and share it on social media, this time with the hashtag “#WarEagle.”

So after this series of pictures, I am confused, but I pick the next place we go, which would be the reptile house. We get there, and I have him follow me to where you can see the alligators. I pointed out the alligators, and I said, “If a Florida fan comes here, this is the one picture they will take and probably label it #GoGators.”

Then I took him over to the elephants and said, “If an Alabama fan comes here, this is the one picture they will take and probably label it #RollTide.”

I then took him back to the tiger habitat and said, “If an LSU fan comes here, this is the one picture they will take and probably label it #GoTigers.”

I looked at him and said, “there is not another fanbase in the entire SEC that claims three different mascots, what is up with Auburn?” Could you imagine UGA football having three different mascots?

He started to explain, and I stopped him. “Look, I know the history of the school, but that is not the point I am making. UGA football uses the Bulldogs, South Carolina uses the Gamecocks, and on and on. Only Auburn claims multiple different mascots at the same time. It is as if they don’t know what they are.”

So we leave the zoo, and I have him follow me to Walmart cause I need to pick up a few things. We park and head inside. I have him follow me to the toilet paper aisle. Of course, it was almost empty.

I turn to him and say, “It looks like Auburn finally won something.” Then I ask him what is with Auburn fans vandalizing their trees to celebrate a win. That is right up there with Texas fans eating their mascot after a win. Some of these traditions make no sense. Again my friend tried to explain, but I wasn’t listening.

I told him I wanted to call the University of Auburn and ask them for the information myself. Before he could give me their number I decided just to call Kirby Smart, I know he has their number. Smart has beaten Auburn in four of his five meetings with them, including the 2017 SEC Championship.

With that, my friend stormed out of the store and to his vehicle. He had had enough of me ridiculing his team. I chased him down and asked him to roll down the window. Frustrated, he rolled the window down and asked me what I wanted. I paused for a second then smiled as I asked, “why are you so mad, your team has been a joke for years.”

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With that, I told him to take it easy like Auburn was trying to do when they had the SEC stop scheduling Georgia and Alabama on back-to-back weeks on their schedule, moving the annual game to October instead of November. After that, we went our separate ways, just like the directions UGA football and Auburn are trending.

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