Georgia Football: Stop with the Oar! Give me WLOCP!

Georgia football takes on Flordia in the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” this Saturday. There is a lot on the line for this game: a chance to win the SEC East, bragging rights, pride, and other things I cannot come up with. But we all know this game is critical; it’s Flordia! I’m not too fond of the Gators; you can read about my hatred here.

So, I saw a post of Hairy Dawg holding the coveted Okefenokee Oar while posting a new blog on the Dawn of the Dawg Facebook (which, if you have Facebook and are not following our site there, please do!). Here is the post I saw, but in Twitter form.

Now look, If you do not know what the Okefenokee Oar is, you are one of the lucky ones. But I will give a SparkNotes history lesson on the trophy.  The Oar is made of a 1,000-year-old cypress tree from the Okefenokee Swamp. The Oar was given to the University of Florida in 2009, and since then, whoever wins the game between Georgia and Florida gets the Oar. The Oar trades spots depending on who won the game. It’s a neat idea, but the Oar is a stupid trophy and must stop now!

I posted this sentiment on Facebook, and I was shocked that many people who commented found that I was wrong for not wanting a trophy to be handed out.  I am still stunned that people would accept the “everyone wins a trophy” culture, especially on Facebook. Since Social Media is limited and everyone’s opinion is correct, I thought I would share mine here.

First off, we do not need any more trophies. That one is pretty self-explanatory. Georgia only plays for one trophy in the regular season: the Governer’s Cup. That trophy has some esteem to it. This Oar doesn’t even get a presentation; some poor staff member has to lug it back from Jacksonville in their SUV.

Furthermore, this Oar was handed out to remove this rivalry’s name. Both schools run with the name of “War for the Oar.” Great job guys! Two of the best public universities came up with that name!  We couldn’t come up with a better name? Here is the truth: for some reason, both schools are afraid of calling it the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party,” so they scrambled and thought fans would move away from the name. As long as I live, it will always be called “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.”

Here is my final reason: It is not even in the Butts-Mehre Building; It’s in the Tate Center. That is right; the football trophy goes to the Georgia student center when Georgia beats Flordia. You might think that is pretty neat, but I am here to tell you it is not. I enjoyed college a lot. I went to Georgia for six years. I thought going for six years, I would become a Doctor. But later, I was told that I had to apply for that and decided enough was enough I needed to graduate.

Anyway, I was a persistent visitor to the Tate Center. I would grab a pimento cheese sandwich and drink a Coke while watching Days of Our Lives or ESPN until it was time for my next class. As you can tell, my parents were proud of my academic career. I never knew the Oar was there until it was gone in 2020. Walking down the long hallway to get my sandwich, I noticed something was off. The Oar was gone because we lost to Flordia. For my entire college career, the Oar was there every year except once, and I did not notice it until it vanished one day. It is right next to the bathrooms in a glass case! I never saw one person stop and look at the thing.

We need to stop giving out so many trophies. If we hand out trophies, make sure they are unique, not this giant piece of wood! Furthermore, make it relatable to both schools. Since the game is played in Jacksonville, whoever wins should get the Flordia Man Trophy. Much like the Paul Bunyan that Michigan-Michigan State plays for. The Florida Man Trophy has a dude wearing a Lynyrd Skynyrd crop top, Jorts, barefoot, and a Mullet. That trophy is a lot better than an Oar.

But in all seriousness, both schools need to drop this Oar trophy and develop something different. But I have a better idea! Embrace tradition and call it the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.”